Dramaaa

Today I was annoyed for a short period of time. I took a nap and I'm feeling better, but I'm about to vent, so if you don't want to read it you can skip this one. But it's my blog, so I feel like I have a right to complain on it every once in a while.

1. Friends from home

Studying abroad is awesome, but it is hard to be away from home and have all of your friends live life without you. It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't coming back in a few months and could just start a new life here, but I am and my biggest fear is that when I get back everything will be different and people will have forgotten me. I know this seems crazy, but I also have friends who have studied abroad and felt like this when they came back. Some of my best friends have lives that are changing so drastically it is hard to keep up, and it sucks not knowing what is going on. It also drives me nuts when people don't reply to my messages or emails. These are my only modes of communication, and it sucks when I can't get ahold of someone important to me because then I feel like they don't miss me and I'm not important. I know this is self centered because people have their own busy lives, and I know I don't always respond either and I am being a hypocrite. However, it's my blog so I'm going to complain, sorry. It's hard to know that some of my best friends don't read my blog or respond to my messages or seem to show any interest in my life here, cause obviously I consider them some of my best friends. However, I do have some friends that have been exceptional friends while I've been gone, and have gone as far as harassing me until I respond-which I really appreciate because obviously you care! Shout out to Clare and Devin and a few others, without you guys I would probably be depressed and never want to come back haha. I love you guys so much and you have been such good friends, thank you :)

I know I'm a hypocrite to an extent, so sorry.


2. Friends from here

I have made some pretty great friends here. There are great people to go out with, to just talk to, and to go on adventures with. I have grown to absolutely love and appreciate the AHA girls, as you guys are always down to do something, regardless of what it is, and I can 100% be myself around you guys. No one is judgmental, and although we are very different, we are also very much the same. I also have friends outside of AHA that have been great to me, and I don't know what I would have done without them for the last month and a half. Emily and Victoria have listened to me complain and struggle with things, and they are great people to talk to! One thing that made me really appreciate Victoria was when she saw me and Laura and Chloe out one night and talking to some Spanish guys, then later called and went back to that bar to look for me cause I was really drunk and she didn't want me doing anything stupid with them. It meant a lot to me that she went out of her way to look out for me, so thank you Victoria :)

While I love all my friends here, I have become a very low key person in the last few years and I cannot handle any drama. I know, what a change from high school! haha. Even the simplest things, such as a change in someone's attitude, stress me out. I can't handle having to guess whether someone likes me or not, and if I miss one event or one night out and then it feels like I'm "out of the group" then maybe that group isn't for me. I have a busy life, and school and good morals will always be my first priorities. So if some party collides with being a good friend or the important things on my schedule, I won't go. And if exclusion is the consequence of this then so be it. I'm not going to change because I like the person I am, and honestly I don't need to party to have fun anymore. Boys are not important enough to me to fight with a friend over, and I do not need the spotlight. Granted, I love going out and having fun with friends, and I plan on continuing to do this. I just don't like being told I have to, or that if I don't I'm lame and am not a part of the group anymore. I am perfectly content with who I am and what I want out of life, and I am here to better myself and learn Spanish. So drama and friends and boys and parties are all just going to have to come second to that. If that isn't okay with someone then maybe we aren't meant to be close friends.


3. David's class

Today in David's class we walked in and he immediately gave our papers back and told us to redo them. They don't follow his exact format and therefore he won't accept them. Now, I know this makes sense and I should have followed his format exactly. He's right, I'm not arguing that he isn't. I was just extremely annoyed. And I think his format is stupid. Every higher level literature class I've been in has asked us to analyze papers concisely. You are supposed to take out all of the fluff and make your point as insightful as possible without wasting space. Since I got my IB diploma in high school, I have taken many of these classes and consider myself to be a relatively good writer of analytical papers (when I try). David has a structure that includes 1 paragraph of summary, 1 paragraph of analyzing the importance of a key passage without supporting details, and 1 paragraph of just the supporting details of the key passage. I tried to combine the last 2, cause what's the point of a paragraph without supporting details? Needless to say, he didn't like this... He told me my paper was good as far as context, but it wasn't acceptable because it didn't follow the format. I asked him what to write for the second paragraph since we can't use any details, and he told me to add more fluff. This is what I think is stupid. I can do it, but I don't think it makes the paper any better, I've always been taught it makes it worse. So next paper I will grudgingly write in his exact format, and I will show him I can write well. I just wanted to complain because I think it's stupid. Sorry you had to read this (if you got this far) haha.


Okay I'm done complaining. I still love life here. And the next post will be more positive! Hasta luego!